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The Addicted to SEIV List

This “300 Ways To Tell If Your Addicted To SE IV” is Copyright 2002-2004 by the Phong. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (A) it is not altered in any way, and (B) this copyright notice is attached.

A little bit about this COPY WRITE: This list was started on the shrapnel game forums on February 20th 2002 by Atrocities. Since that time the list has grown and evolved into what it is now. There are other lists that were started after this one and those comments may have been included in this list at some point by those who posted them originally. The Copywrite is to protect the list from and those who have contributed to this list.

This list was created through the contributions of many Shrapnel Games forum members.


1. You bought your first computer just for this game. (Thanks PC Gamer Magazine)
2. SEIV is the only game on your Hard Drive
3. You quit your job so you could dedicate more time to playing SEIV
4. The only email account on your computer is for PBW
5. You have warn out a mouse every month by just clicking
6. When you close your eyes, all you see is a blue grid
7. You stay up all night just too play "one more turn"
8. You changed your name to include Lord of the Known Universe
9. When your not playing SEIV, your posting at Shrapnel
10. When you’re not posting at Shrapnel, you’re playing SEIV.
11. You get goose pimples in case of strange noises from your SE4 Hard Drive.
12. Trembling from head to foot if the Hard Drive has died.
13. You bite the postman's leg, every day he does not deliver SE 4 Gold.
14. You cannot open a door without a minesweeper.
15. You see your car's fuel gauge and think: solar panels times stars divided by 10 times number of engines...
16. You put notes on your neighbors' front doors, informing them that ancient treaties stipulate that their houses belong to you.
17. You sit in traffic wishing you had a wave motion gun, or at least a repulser beam.
18. Your neighbor tells you he just bought a new car and you ask if it has a cloaking device
19. While sitting at your computer and your wife comes up and says, "let’s go to bed early" with a twinkle in her eye and you reply " how about a trade agreement"
20. If you need to start a conversation you say, "Mineral planet are the best."
21. You wake up from a nightmare screaming "The EEE are coming! The EEE are coming!"
22. You look out for a wife with enhanced reproduction characteristics, non-existent political savvy and low maintenance costs.
23. You see your mother-in-law with a car breakdown and think: ... no, my repair aptitude is pathetic.
24. You see a blonde sex bomb with a car breakdown and all of a sudden your repair aptitude changes to impressive.
25. You flush the toilet; go 3 steps forward, 2 steps back.
26. You threaten to Planetary Napalm your neighbor’s car, then go "ah, damn. My troops are on the planet- can't do that."
27. When your car runs out of gas, you're pissed that it won't move.
28. You're proud of your car's supply storage- it gets 280 sectors a tank!
29. You post at least once a day to this forum
30. You have started at least one thread here
31. You think the reason your car engine died is because someone hit it with an Ionic Disperser.
32. You believe police cars have Tachyon Sensors.
33. When people you don't like come over you demand they remove all presence from system.
34. You woke up once wondering if you had enough minerals to buy a new car.
35. You accuse rich people of having a mega-evil empire and wonder why no one has declared war on them.
36. You have an SEIV Tattoo (that would be really funny if I didn't actually have one, [it would be even funnier if I knew where I got it)
37. You are SUDDENLY awaken by doorbell expecting, AARON to hand you your game.
38. You look at the night sky looking at the Big Dipper, and say I can Mode that.
39. You had a nightmare, and woke up as the PHONG.
40. When your population says its TO HOT? USE A SUNBUSTER?
41. When you are chased by the cops?, use your pearl jam clocking device?
42. When you are being bitten by misquotes use your Johnson wax DEEP WOODS OFF ECM X.
43. When a population ask you for money, DECLARE WAR on him at once.
44. You are woken up in the middle of night and see a figure of an SLEESTAK NAMED JRAENAR.
45. I go to the grocery store shopping for asparagus, and I see AMONKRIE looking at me?
46. You find yourself flicking through a mail order catalogue looking for an urban pacifier to deal with the kids next-door
47. You are amazed that the policeman doesn't buy your 'but I have a solar sail' explanation for speeding
48. You find yourself in the economy section of the plane wishing Delta would install more cargo holds
49. You fear jewelry because you haven't researched shields yet.
50. You yell out "The Ukra-Tal are invading!" during thunderstorms.
51. You try to adjust your TV set because the monoliths in "2001: A SPACE ODDESEY" are off-color.
52. You get mad when you find out that your local newspaper doesn't have a SE4 section.
53. You took an advanced accounting course to help manage minerals, radioactive, and organics.
54. You think that you can only make 1 call to a person per turn.
55. You think the USA is a neutral empire.
56. You believe that Null-Space weaponry is the solution to all your problems.
57. You measure everything in Kilotons.
58. You hit a fog bank on your way home and you try to launch a recon satellite from your car trunk.
59. You count Battle cruiser instead of sheep to fall asleep.
60. When people talk about building expensive Missile Defense systems, you wonder why they don't just use a few Point Defense Cannons.
61. You shave your hamster in a way that it looks like a Vaxin.
62. You keep playing the game for 100 years after winning, just so you can make a sphere world.
63. You post so frequently that your numbers overlap with someone else’s
64. You can carry on a discussion for a day and a half in the forum about who posted which number in which order. (Sorry guys, I couldn't resist)
65. You post ways that you can tell you're addicted to SEIV.
66. You have this forum marked as your HOME PAGE.
67. You check on the latest status of SE IV Gold about 8 times a day
68. When you find yourself telling people that 'their cities shall burn in your vengeful fire' rather than asking them politely to move out of the way
69. When you sit at your desk wishing you had a cloaking device or stealth armor
70. When you pick a tie to wear in the morning on the basis that it looks like the Ukra Tel flag (I did, this morning)
71. Before you enter the office of your boss, you choose your strategies: primary - point blank, secondary - ram
72. When people avoid you at parties because they know you're just going to go on and on about your sphere world construction plans and monolith conversion programmer.
73. When you consider posting to the forum to ask if anyone is willing to write a bit of software and set up a server that will eliminate number conflicts in the "You know you're addicted" list by automatically allocating unused numbers to new entries...
74. You're sitting in the office trying to dream up SEIV lyrics to Puretone's addicted to bass
75. You have convinced one of your dates to post to your own thread, (Gryphin Growltigga).
76. You have barricaded yourself in your computer room, and have been playing SEIV now for 15 days strait without any sleep.
77. You realize on day 16 that despite your best efforts, you’re still not finished with the game.
78. You establish a military alliance with your family knowing that they will never honor the agreement.
79. You have considered glassing your wife’s homeworld.
80. You make active plans to invade the living room.
81. After months of playing SEIV on PBW, you go through withdrawal symptoms while waiting for your new game to start.
82. You have never truly finished a game of SEIV.
83. You now view time in increments of 10.
84. Your dates have been told from the get go that SEIV is as important as they are and when Gold comes out you will be unavailable for a week or more. (I don't know if you think this if funny, but it is true).
85. Begin to look for ways to upgrade your coworkers AI.
86. Find you’re self-wondering what Mods you would make on your girl/boy friend, wife/husband if you had the chance.
87. You search for the "Complete AI off" button on your wife/husband.
88. You try to MOD Windows in hopes that you will improve it.
90. When you have been not getting contacts from Malfador, Shrapnel, or anybody else that you think is important for long periods...
You believe that their warp gates have been cut off by stellar tech.
- OR - You keep mindlessly researching stellar manipulation so that you can get in touch with them again. - OR - You go use the master password to get into their heads to make them contact you.
91. You give 1000 pebbles to people you meet for the first time, and expect them to like you more.
92. You email AARON everyday to send him UNLIMITED suggestions when you don’t even have se4 gold?
93. At night going to sleep, you close your eyes only to see flickers of stars, with a smile on your face.
94. You go to a tattoo parlor and have your WHOLE BODY painted with the UNIVERSE of planets.
95. You see that man in news that dress like lizard or alligator or something? And you say to yourself, I can race mode THAT.
96. You woke up this morning & having a bad day with bills, taxes etc, and suddenly, you say to yourself, OH MY GOD IM ON THE WRONG HOMEWORLD?
97. After re-lousing you rename your dog to "something bug fix v1.49"
98. After a quarrel with your wife, you dream of a "replay combat button" to see what went wrong.
99. You open warp points from your PC chair to the refrigerator and another one to the restroom, to save time.
100. #99 would be obsolete if #3 has been done, because everything would be within the same sector/room.
101. When the divorce papers are served you respond with:
a. Uh, yeah, just put them on the printer.
b. Can't you see I'm *^&%$(@# busy?
c. Launch a colony ship to the nearest breathable atmosphere.
d. Just sit there with the usual glazed look.
e. Start building those Intel centers you've been putting off.
102. You are replying to this thread when there is a 3rd year engineering exam tomorrow that you don't know a sh*t about!
103. You wish you had installed the Drone Launcher in your car.
104. Even after nearly 2 years, your still actively playing this game.
105. I have begun thinking about the game while I brush my teeth in the morning...so I guess I would say yes, I am addicted.
106. If the first thing you do in the morning, after waking up isn't bathroom, coffee or the paper. But instead, you stumble to the computer to click you next turn of SEIV!
105 Even after 8 months of no work, you're late to an interview because you had to make that last change to your new race style and, of course, it had to be tested.
107. Your bathroom has become useless because of an organic infestation.
108. You arrive at interview just to find the interviewer playing SEIV. You offer advice and get the job.
109. You watch B5 'In The Beginning' and wonder if you can use Sheridan's tactic to smoke that cruiser that's been killing all your ships.
110. You know your addicted the moment you realize that because you stayed awake all night long playing SEIV while eating General Chao Hot & Spice Chicken, and drinking diet coke, you missed your PBW turn and the AI surrendered to the BORG.
111. You write SEIV Haiku.
112. You have the game installed on your game system at home, your work system at work, and your laptop so you can play on the trip between.
113. You become obsessed with Star Trek and Space Empires, you try to get involved in every Sci-Fi mod that includes trek and try to implement ridiculous ideas such as a transporter that can move cargo and population from one square (sector) away from the target.
114. After playing many games with SE4 standard races, you download whatever 3D programs such as Moray, DOGA, and others and use them to create your own army of light.
115. If after playing 3000 games, and you still haven't finished a game, you are most diffidently addicted to SEIV.
116. If you receive 20 emails a day, and they are all from PBW games.
117. You have specified in your will that you want to be buried with your SEIV Gold disk and mouse pad.
118. You attempt to place troops on your wife or girl friend to fend off open rebellion.
119. You have installed a bucket to the bottom of your chair and moved the fridge next to your PC desk.
120. You’re on your fifth mouse because you've worn out the left clicker on the previous four.
121. When you sleep at night, you see little ships moving about the inside of your eyelids, and you attempt to issue them order.
122. You keep upgrading your computer, just so that it can process the turns faster.
123. You spend all of Christmas playing SEIV, working on mods and posting in the forum.
124. Including at the end of your dinner prayer "...and let Malfador change the hard code to allow for my new mod. You know which one, God."
125. Have sent a new idea for a universal field theory to Stephen Hawking stating that the universe is composed of countless data files...tappable by some cosmic word pad.
126. When you keep taking No-Doz to stay awake for the 19th consecutive day of game play because you just have to do each race in a quick start at least once.
127. When you are so obsessed with the Maximum Turn Range Check Error that you spend days clicking "End Turn" with your finger stuck on the "Y" key so that you can send Malfador a bug report when you finally get to turn 9999.9 and save it before ending turn and getting that error. (Yes, I actually have several save games that I am working on getting up to turn 9999.9 - I've finally gotten to turn 4563.2 on one of those....)
128. You're playing SE for 6 years.
129. You’re trying to get all you know involved into SE
130. You’re actively trying to build an RPG community based off it
131. You play this game, or read the forum, before, between, and after exam studying
132. When you cant play you're invented tactics and drawing images (school)
133. You’re trying to figure out a use for most useless weapons in the game, in the late game.
134. When watching any Sci-Fi movie you're trying to link anything you see in there to SE (yes right, that’s a cruiser, and those are PDC's and those are APBs and WMGs...)
135. When watching the same Sci-Fi's and you see something that doesn’t exist in SE you consider it impossible
136. You keep staring out on the stars at night, thinking - 'are there eee?'....
137. You’re either found out yourself or asked others how does every damn single thing in SE work.
138. You buy a new game take it home and it is still in the package because you are busy playing SEIV on the web and testing your new mod and you call a friend to discuss better ways to play SEIV and How to respond to the bad guy in the current PBW game both you and he are allies in.
139. You are convinced your girlfriend said, "Your Growth is Astonishing!" Last Night (Maybe she did though :)
140. You compulsively read any and all "X ways to know if you are addicted" threads or lists, pertaining to SE4.
141. When you start to tell people if "you like 'any other game in the universe' you will like SEIV".
142. You are reading this list of 120+ ways written by fellow addicts...
143. You have a bumper sticker that reads:
"If God Played A PC Game, It Would Be SEIV".
144. You try to activate ministers to perform your normal RL activities.
145. You named your new kitten Amokie.
146. You have customized license plates that read: PLAYSEIV.
147. You make a partnership with your neighbor, then a day later declare war upon him.
148. Your wife demands 50% custody of the Game upon your divorce.
149. When waking in the morning, your first instinct is to check these forums.
150. Your entire life has become one big game of SEIV, and your winning.
151. You attempt to colonize empty homes in your neighborhood.
152. You know your addicted to Space Empires IV is when God himself calls you for game advice.
153. Is when Aaron himself calls for advice?
154. Since you hate sitting inside on a nice summer day you buy a laptop and a wireless router for the primary purpose of being able to sit outside play SE4 and write a modding program. (Even though you don't actually do any modding yourself)
155. You change your legal name to Supreme Overuler < insert name >
156. You change your name to Aaron Hall.
157. Not trusting Shrapnel or anyone else to make sure you know ASAP when a new patch for SE4 is out, you frequently also go to Malfadors site to double check that the current version is REALLY REALLY REALLY the one you have and the most recent and up to date version.
158. When looking at moving to a new house you decide not to because it didn't have a
green + in the upper right corner.
159. You try to make a trade with a friend/ally for a home-to-home swap because you both
can breath better in the other ones home and you won't need a dome to live there no more.
160. You swap population (Kids/Wife/Husband) for the same reason as above.
161. You are convinced your new neighbor is an undercover intel agent from the 'Drushocka'
Empire.
162. You stalk your neighbor trying to come up with a counter intelligence project against
him.
163. You keep speculating when the next patch would come, endlessly.
164. Until the first time you saw someone else do it, withdrawing from a game never even
occurred to you.
165. You are sitting in traffic. The light turns 'green'. But the jerk in front of you
just sits there. You think: 'A couple of Capital Ship Missiles IV should take care of this'!
167. You accept gifts from friends and family during Christmas, and then attempt to bombard
them from your orbital base ship.
168. You demand people pay you tribute on Christmas and when they don't you cough on them
infecting them with plague level 1.
169. On any holiday that is a family gather, you come to this forum before going to join
your roommates that dare call themselves family.
170. You view your trade screen. Then you get out your TI-83 calculator and input (trade
received)*(100/trade percent) to know how much they are producing (of that kind).
171. You no longer dream at night of blondes or redheads who "want" you in the most erotic
of ways. Instead you dream of aliens races who want you to be subjugated!
172. You are taking the biology exam. Lecture gives you the following questions on a sheet
of paper:
A. Why does a badger have multiple ways to get out of his burrow?
B. Why are some lizards able to regenerate their tales, if cut off?
C. Why did the dinosaurs die long long ago?
D. Why do bears sleep in winter?
E. Why do little cats are used to turn around trying to catch their tale?
F. Why do chameleons change their skin color?
G. Why do hares change their fur in winter/summer time?
H. Why can't penguins fly?
I. Why do frogs always catch an insect with their tongue?
J. Why do kangaroos have a pouch?
These questions seem no problem for you. Here goes the answers:
a) If a badger suspects one way is mined, it uses another to go to the shop and purchase
the minesweeper.
b) They have got an organic armor.
c) Because of plague. They didn't possess the medical bay technology.
d) Just mothballing maintenance costs.
e) Little cats are learning the function "Repeat Orders”.
f) Cloaking.
g) Retrofitting armor.
h) Their engines doesn't store enough supply to lift the weight of a penguin off the ground.
i) They have the religious talisman.
j) In order to have a possibility to transport extra population.
The next day you come to know exam results. You find your paper and are amassed slightly as your mark is nine. The fifth answer is striked out in red with the following
comment nearby: All units have "Repeat Orders" available at once when created. The correct
answer should be: Little cats are getting used to deal with newly acquired scanning
technology; scanning surroundings.
173. Playing 36 turns of KOTH on Christmas Day.
175. Your windows background is starmap.bmp
176. If you are not playing SEIV, you're modding it.
177. Your wife growls whenever she sees a putrid green-brown website on the computer.
178. The most exciting thing to happen over the holidays was not the gifts, the big x-mas
dinner with family, or watching how exciting the nephews were, or meeting old friends and
relatives you haven't seen for a while, but sneaking a cloaked fleet into the enemies home
system and glassing his homeworld.
179. If you have sent emails to your co-works claiming that ancient treats stipulate that their workspace belongs to you.
180. You have sent your estranged wife’s lawyer a letter demanding that he Surrender.
181. If you have sent your neighbor a message demanding that he leave his house and remove all of his cars from your property.
182. If your neighbor replies by stating that "He would rather die than accept such a demand." And you view it as an act of war.
183. You talk about SEIV so much your friends and family thinks you have joined a cult.
184. You have Tattooed SEIV on your arm. (No I have not gone that far yet, but I'll bet someone has.)
185. You used to play many games, but now all you play is SEIV
186. You wish you could install a Religious Talisman onto your Hunting Rifle.
187. You think that the empires in SEIV are real, and you actively scan the night sky looking for any sign of the Eee.
188. You have painted your lawn black with dark blue grid lines.
189. You attempt to upgrade your wife’s care with a self-destruct device, and end up in jail.
190. While in jail you convert several inmates to the cult of SEIV.
191. You help organize an IRC chat room for SEIV.
A. You incessantly push said IRC chat room by suggesting to anyone and everyone every chance you get that they should log on to it.
B. You want to go to the channel, but have to be constantly reminded to visit it.
192. During your Christmas trip you ask 5 different people if you can borrow 500+ Megs on their hard drive for a couple of minutes (To play your PBW turns).
193. You're disappointed when you find out there aren't any Urban Pacification Centers in your city.
194. You drink from a SEIV logo mug, have SEIV posters on the wall, use a SEIV mouse pad, and wear a SEIV T-shirt.
195. You are still in school and you build a War Shrine to help out with those fights you are always in.
196. When someone asks, "How are you?” you answer, "I am jubilant.
197. You have been asked to appear on The Springer show to talk about how you spend more time playing SEIV than you do with your wife. (If only I had a wife. She would have left a long time ago.)
198. You did not know that Shrapnel Games published other games for you only visit the SEIV Forum.
199. Instead of warring a T-shirt with a, you have an Eee.
200. You have contributed over 50 ways to tell you’re addicted to SEIV.
201. Your mood is influenced by the proximity of your neighbor’s vehicle and house.
202. When you buy a new home, you automatically claim the surrounding lots.
203. You have severe trouble with details so you decide to do your own mod.
204. You are legally blind but decide to make your own ship set.
205. Your New Years Eve party is an SE IV LAN party!!
206. Your heart palpitates at the slightest hint that the PBW server may be down.
207. You panic when you discover the PBW server is down.
208. You go into shock when you discover the PBW server may be down for more than 10 minutes.
209. You display severe withdrawal symptoms if the PBW server is down more than a day.
210. If the PBW server is down more than 2 days, you are bundled away by some guys in white coats to a place where you can do no harm to yourself or to others.
211. If you do not have access to the PBW server for more than 3 days, (and how can you, if you are put into a nice, stark, clean, 9 by 8 room with no amenities) you start to drool, become vacant eyed and withdraw from all contact with the world.
212. You happen to wake up at 4am and instead of just going to sleep again you get up and see if your PBW turn is in.
213. You are seriously considering flying out to Ohio to offer your technical services to get the server back on line.
214. You and your friends discuss SEIV for an hour and a half at the New Years Eve party. Then you interrupt and say lets talk about something else and 8 minutes later you mention the stealth fighter in popular science would make a cool SEIV Fighter picture and suddenly you are in another round of SEIV discussions.
215. You don't mind when your girlfriend breaks up with you because you were playing in a PBW game with her and you said "your cities shall burn with our vengeful fire"
215a. "Why have you broken our alliance? What more do you want from me?
I gave you organics! (Wined and dined you). I gave you minerals (a ring/locket/bracelet). I gave you an organ... (Hmmm. you guys will have to figure this one out!).
216. Instead of "just one more turn" you now say "just one more GAME".
217. The game in 216 is a 20-player 255-system game.
218. You keep redoing your next turn while waiting for the PBW server to go back on line.
219. You write a song about SE4 after you wife leaves you, your children leave you, your girlfriend leaves you, you car is reposed, your phones are cut, your TV is reposed, and more titled "Just One More Turn, Baby!”
220. You're doing an English portfolio assignment. One of the parts is "write anything". Your first and only idea is to write a short story about your race in SE4. It had been approved and already approaching 5th page in word.
221. You update your resume for a job by including a new skill...Proficient in SE4.
222. You score poorly on the written exam for college admittance, but when the instructor finds out your "the Atrocities" your score is becomes acceptable.
223. While filling out a job application you write:
Most Current Job: General Operations Director
Company: United Consortium of Planets
Pay: Unlimited resources.
Job Duties:
Over see operation of a massive space empire including but not limited too Colonization operations, ship design, planetary management, fleet management, research, intelligence operations, combat, population control, etc.
Reason For Leaving: Still Currently In Charge
Job 2: Prime Minister
Company: Dominion Imperium
Pay: Unlimited resources.
Job Duties:
Over see operation of a massive space empire including but not limited too Colonization operations, ship design, planetary management, fleet management, research, intelligence operations, combat, population control, etc.
Reason For Leaving: Defeated by the Borg
Job 3: Chancellor
Company: Federation Republic
Pay: Unlimited resources.
Job Duties:
Over see operation of a massive space empire including but not limited too Colonization operations, ship design, planetary management, fleet management, research, intelligence operations, combat, population control, etc.
Reason For Leaving: Catastrophic Stellar event on turn 3.
224. While filling the sink with hot water to wash dirty pots you go down stairs for a quick one. Naturally of course you get caught up on a conversation on #SE4, email reply to Geo about Dimension 2x, do a Koth turn, do an ADM 0## turn, look at SEB, and drop by shrapnel.... The wife comes home and screams if you’re OK... You think yea I am ok so lets go see what is up...Hey there is a flood of water and soap suds on the...Ah sugar...True story...
225. You create an absurd amount of se4-related polls (5+ in one day!).
226. You are late to nearly every class because you spend too much time reading this forum.
227. You wish for a Climate Control Facility during the long and harsh Canadian winters
228. You buy a new laptop so you can play SEIV while you are away on business trips and tell your wife it's really so you can IM her while you are away. (If my Gal sees this there will be hell to pay)
229. (Not sure if this has been posted before) you are filling out official documentation, and when you get to the "Race" line you write in "Terrain".
230. You've been playing for 6 hours straight and think, "Man, I need a break!" so you go and work on your mod.
231. You find what might be a super rare bug that does some strange stuff, is easy to solve, and no one else has apparently ever seen it.
232. You can eyeball the difference between a meson blaster I and a meson blaster IV in combat.
233. You show this to your dad.
234. You actually think it is cool.
236. You dad agrees.
237. (A different one) you talk with puke about your SEIV PBW dream... and he had the same one...
238. While comparing the US and Canada in matters of area, population, and production, you determine that Canada is a domed colony. You then announce to your coworkers "I think I figured out what's wrong with Canada."
239. You actually know what "contra-terrene" means - bonus points if you have more than a vague understanding of how a photon can be "jacketed"!
240. The fact that a tachyon cannon has a completely different effect than a tachyon PROJECTION cannon is not in the least disturbing to you.
241. "So then they opened fire with their Wave Motion Gun..." "Oh, you a fan of Starblazers are you?" "Starblazers? Never heard of it..."
242. When watching the original Star Trek episode "The Ultimate Computer" you think, "A REAL Master Computer wouldn't act like that!"
243. Upon seeing the monolith on the moon in "2001: A Space Odyssey" your immediate reaction was, "Oh boy! 1100 of every resource! Too bad the moon doesn't have any more facility slots, then we could REALLY rake in the dough!"
244. You don't understand why when we have a war all our molecular biologists and architectural engineers don't immediately drop what they're doing and start developing orbital massdriver cannons of doom!
245. "They're using depleted uranium shells? So what, my emissive armor will block 3/4 of the damage!"
246. When you heard that ground troops were deployed to Iraq, you turned on the TV and said, "Hey, what are all those guys doing there in funny green outfits? Where are the Heavy Battle Mech?"
247. And when you heard about the casualties, you said, "Wounded?!? That's impossible! Troops are units, so they don't take partial damage!"
248. You take up playing Starcraft but can't shake the habit of calling your Zerglings "ripper beam escorts"
249. You start wondering what racial traits God has. "Ancient Race for sure, and he probably has Omnipresent view of all systems turned on as well, the cheating %*@!*( ..."
250. (Woohoo, a good one for a good number!) Your girlfriend gets pregnant and you say, "Oops, it must be the leaky shield effect"
251. She DOESN'T get pregnant and you say, "Dammit Susan, do you HAVE to use so much Emissive Armor?"
252. You never quite saw the point of "broadband"... dialup is good enough for all MY online gaming needs... if it takes two days between turns, surely I can wait another five minutes for the .zip to download from PBW...
253. You ask the pastor of your church if it is a War Shrine or one of those pansy Nature Shrines, because we really need to help out the boys in Iraq!
254. You are the director of the Department of Homeland Security and your first initiative to prevent terrorism is to build a Fate Shrine in every state.
255. You can recite the names of all the Canadian regulars to this forum, from memory!
256. You did not write this entry for fear of causing an Overflow Error and crashing the game
257. You take exception to #253, because system-wide value and conditions improvement are awesome abilities.
258. You notice that #243 is wrong
259. You justify a poor yearly review at work by saying "well, you have to take into account my -20% productivity" because of hostile elements in my proximity.
260. You love SPACE HoRSE, but thought that resource 'spoilage' was unrealistic because it should have been labeled 'maintenance'.
261. You don't believe in a war for oil, but minerals and Radioactives might be another matter all together.
262. (This happened to me today) you look at anything with the word "Race" in it and simultaneously think of ship sets and try and correct it in your head to "Racial"
263. Your friends are tired of the way you analogize everything to SE4 terms.
Friend "They never should have put that rookie pitcher in last night."
Me "Yeah, it's like in SE4, you never send your ship into battle before parking it over your emergency training sector for a couple of turns"
Friend "OH jeesh."
264. You have logged into this forum from at least 10 different computers. One of which is an unused office at work where you won't be noticed. (Like right now)
265. You sometimes find you have 5 or more sessions of these Forums open.
266. It really bothers you when you notice #243 is wrong.
267. Your fingers just itch to correct the error to 900!
268. You open so many sessions of the forum threads all you can see is 'int...'
uh-oh.
269. Being up at 3am because of schoolwork and desperately seeking sleep but reading Shrapnel forums because it is so great.
270. When asked what your profession is you respond by saying: "General Operations Director of the Starwolf Empire."
271. When your friends and family try to have you committed because you live at your computer waiting for PBW to come back up.
272. When you purchase satellite ISP so you can play your PBW turns while on the road.
273. When you came here from the MOO3 forum and never looked back
274. When you spend so much time customizing the game that you never play it
275. When you email Atrocities everyday and ask to add unlimited things to STAR TREK MODE, and you haven’t even played a single game turn of SE4 gold.
276. When you ask all Modders to add all modes together like devellon, star trek, AST, pirate nomad, Babylon 5, AI, to get a real tech thrill
277. If you don't pay attention, no matter which web site you wanted to go to, you type in www.shrapnelgames.com. happens to me.
278. Instead of measuring time in hr, min, sec... you measure it in min, org, rad!
279. When a hot girl friend is visiting from Paris and you spend time on this site and getting in a few turns on your saved game in the 15 minutes before she arrives!
280. When all you do is talk about SEIV and how you modded this and that and no one around you knows what in the hell your talking about and all wish you would just shut the hell up.
281. When go to bed at night frustrated about a problem with your new mod only to wake up at 3 am with the solution and spend the next 12 hours modding your mod
282. When you go to bed thinking your empire is going to kick the crap out of another empires fleet in PBW just to wake up, download the next turn and discover your fleet is gone, your planets captured, and your empire in ruin.
283. When you cry over loosing a fleet of ships
284. When you openly plan to commit honorable suicide for failing your empire and allowing the Vile Federation to conquer you.
285. When you start attending Star Trek conventions dressed up as a Phong.
286. When you stand on a street corner yelling at the top of your lungs - "The EEE are Coming!"
287. When you begin to think of finances in SEIV terms. Money = minerals + Organics + Rads - maintenance cost / pie = "Shit I am broke! Time to put things on hold."
288. When you lie awake at night worrying that your new Kirov-class light cruiser may be under-gunned for the war you have just launched against the second-most-powerful empire in your current game.
289. When you become giddy with joy at the fact that achieving gas planet colonization technology has doubled your empire's potential resource base and industrial strength at a single stroke.
290. When your wife asks you "What's wrong?" and you just don't know how to tell her that what you are so deeply worried about is the fact that the Klingons have just declared war on your empire and you have no navy to speak of.
291. When you have read four separate forum topics regarding how to diagnose an addiction to this game or forum:
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=010552#000000
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=009035#000000
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=006010#000000
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=004698#000000
292. When you count your PBW games among the commitments that keep you going.
293. When you budget time for creative writing, almost every week, for an RP SE IV forum.
294. When the product of this creative writing is something you are so proud of that you show it off to your friends, whether or not you've converted them to SE IV yet.
295. When you get that 'crunch time hustle' feeling when time starts getting short on either of those.
296. When you think about starting a discussion over whether Space Empires IV should be abbreviated 'SEIV', 'SE IV', or maybe just '1.84'.
297. You know you play SEIV too much when you look up to the skies and say, "Sol IIIA is in the full phase!"
298. When she (#279) has just arrived, but you need to finish "Just one more turn"
299. Or worse, she (#279) comes into your room while you are issuing orders and tells you that your tactics will fail and your worlds will be conquered. Then she borrows your PC and plays her turn, in the same game, and is the enemy you have been fighting for weeks.
300. When you waste your entire night updating this list so you can copy write it.


I wish to thank the contributors to this list who were brave enough to discuss their Space Empires IV Addiction.




Compiled by Atrocities

Copyright © by the author, posted with permission.

Published on: 2005-03-31 (6572 reads)

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